Original thread from my old forums
Had some real weird feeling going on the other day. Thought I would try and throw them down on here, for all the world to view. Y’know because that is what you do when you have personal feelings. Smile
You spend your whole life with a core of family members. In my case it has been my mom, dad and sister. I mean I have always had grand parents around and stuff and I am thankful for that, but pretty much no matter what if you are doing something, you are either doing it by yourself or with at least one member of the core family unit. Most of the time we have been together doing something memorable all together. Working on the farm when we got it is a perfect example. We would all go down there for the weekend and accomplish some goal and at the end of the weekend we would be tired as hell, but we would be saying things like, “Remember when dad pushed the building over and it hit me?” or “Did you see me when I hit my head on that tree while we were on that trail?” or “”Chisuuuummm….. John Chisum!!!” and everyone would know what you were talking about, because we were all there.
But then as you grow older most kids start to seperate from their parents. Kinda, “growing into their own” or some such. I on the other hand didn’t have to seperate from my parents to become my own person. Mainly, I think, because I like my parents. Oh sure sometimes they can be a PIA, but on the whole they are fairly cool and fairly content to let me do what I want without much interference. Only, stopping me every now and then to say things like, “Are you sure you really want to stick your finger in that light socket?” Which on the whole is a good thing.
So now comes the time in my life, where I can’t stick around with them. It just really isn’t an option. I would love to. I really have no issue hanging around with my parents and sister, but it just can’t happen anymore due to the fact that they are going to live an hour away from where I work. That coupled with the fact that I don’t think Pauline would like to live with them all the time(*) and it just really becomes impossible.
So that means that things like what happened yesterday start up. I want to stay over at the farm with them, I think they want me to stay over at the farm with them, but I have to head home for work and to do somethings at my own home. It is weird. I mean my Mom said something to me along the lines of, “I miss you already.” Like I was heading off to war in Iraq or something. My dad wants me to take time off of work to stay over there with them and Stacey is asking me when I will be back. I spend the time watching the clock while I am there, not because I want to leave, but instead because I want to stay as long as I can, but still have time to get home and gear up for the week of work. I want to spend the time with them. I wish I could stop working, grab my girlfriend, head to Cumberland county and setup residence in the new house, but it just don’t work that way.
It is weird.
(*) It isn’t her fault really. I mean they aren’t her parents, they aren’t the people she has grown up with her whole life.