Family Ties

I left work Friday feeling beat up and abused. I don’t particularly enjoy my job anymore, and I hope to find something else to do. All I wanted to do when I went home was a whole lot of nothing. I found myself slipping into what I have started to call my yearly depression. See normaly I am a pretty up beat kinda guy, but every now and then (about once a year) I fall into a really bad depression and I cannot seem to be happy about anything. Well Friday didn’t start it, but it sure gave it a good kick in the ass. So I came home and started talking with my dad about some stuff. Mom came home and dad ask her if she wanted to go over to the farm. She agreed and ask me if I wanted to go. Recently I haven’t been going over there as much since it seems that we never have anything to do while over there, but the last couple weeks that has changed and I would say I was somewhat eager to go. We left saturday and spent the weekend over there. I worked outside a lot and felt like I actually had done something which I haven’t really felt that way in a while. At the end of the weekend I can’t say I feel any better about my job and I was still rather depressed that I had to come back, but at least I feel I moved around a little and I feel that I am reconnected to my family a little. I am sad for that in another way though, because I realize that I am approaching a time in my life where I am going to have to leave my family to start my own family and place in life. The more I look at this the more I realize that I don’t want to. I enjoy being around my family. A lot of kids grow up not liking to have to be told what to do and such, but I find that as I have grown up not only have my parents relaxed a little, but I have picked up some perspective on the issues that we had. While I am not always happy with the type of place we live, I find that I don’t really have that many issues with the people that I live with and that I don’t want to leave them.